Family mediation " in practice"

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The mediation process is conducted as a mix of joint meetings between the parties and the mediator, and individual meetings of each party with the mediator.

First, a joint meeting is scheduled between the parties and the mediator, in which the parties tell about themselves and their families.

The purpose of the first meeting is to jointly examine whether the mediation course is suitable for the parties in the conflict, as well as to coordinate the parties' expectations both from the mediator and from each other. Also, that meeting allows the parties an opportunity to examine the compatibility between them and the mediator; meaning, the first meeting focuses in considering whether the current mediator is the right person to lead the process for the conflicted parties, or whether they should turn to another mediator or procedure.

During the initial meeting, the mediator will make sure the parties understand the essence of the mediation course, including its advantages over the alternative procedure in the various legal courts. Also, each of conflicted parties will share their needs and their own view of the conflict along with offering possible solutions.

It should be noted that no mediation process is similar to another, and every conflict is different. The progress of the mediation process is determined, among other things, by the maturity of the parties to move towards reaching a solution. For example – some feel it is right for them to lay out all that is on the agenda and require a solution during the first meeting already, while others will share details about their family and its intricacy.

After the first meeting, the mediator will hold a separate, confidential meeting with each of the conflicted parties. The purpose of the personal meetings is to allow each party to talk openly about things that concern both them personally and the overall conflict, as well as to ask questions they did not feel comfortable discussing during the joint meeting.

During the personal meetings, the mediator will be able to clarify and discuss issues that better be faced separately in order to create a comfortable and open atmosphere for deliberation, and eliminate unnecessary tension in the joint discussions.

The next step in the mediation process varies from case to case. The pace is personal, individual and adapted to the 'mediated' parties. There is no uniform template for everyone. The duration of the process depends on the complexity of the circumstances and the maturity level of the parties. Some complete a mediation process in a few meetings (3-8 meetings), while others may need several mediation months in order to reach agreements. On average, a mediation process takes between three to four months. Mediating parties who complete a mediation process relatively quickly and those who require more time differ by several main criteria: the maturity level of the parties, the time that has passed since the initial decision and what has been done so far, the communication between the parties and their ability to prepare "homework" between meetings, such as budgeting, property valuation, etc.

The mediation is customized individually for each case, according to the specific case and the parties' needs, as the goal is to reach points of agreements, draft an agreement and render it to the court for approval.